Journey into the honeycombed basalt pillars of the borderlands between the Shining Land and Hitehkel to meet Taladas’s most organized, hygienic, and unique inventors: The Gnomoi of the Columns. Buy Time of the Dragon: https://www.dmsguild.com/en/product/16960/time-of-the-dragon-2e?affiliate_id=50797
Transcript
Cold Open
In the brutal, ash-choked borderlands of Taladas, getting captured by the local gnomes doesn’t mean facing a firing squad—it means being subjected to a mandatory, high-intensity, industrial-strength sponge bath before you can even say hello.
Intro
Welcome to another DragonLance Saga episode. My name is Adam, and today we are talking about the Gnomoi of the Columns, or the Bilogastandirachgnomius branch of gnomes in Taladas. I’d like to take a moment and thank the DLSaga members and Patreon patrons, and invite you to consider becoming a member or patron — you can even pick up Dragonlance media or get $10 by signing up to StartPlaying.Games using my affiliate links. I’m referencing the Time of the Dragon boxed set for this information. If I leave anything out or misspeak, please leave a comment below.
Discussion
Separated from the main gnomish line by the terrible convulsions of Hiteh’s Night, the Bilogastandirachgnomius—or Bilo gnomes for short—have settled in the rugged volcanic region forming the border between the Shining Land and Hitehkel. Here, they practice their gnomish arts, building intricate devices and living in relatively quiet peace compared to their chaotic cousins across Krynn.
Physically, the Bilo gnomes stand three to three-and-a-half feet tall with hefty frames, large noses, and high, domed foreheads. Their skin has a distinct ruddy, waxy complexion. While the males normally wear their hair long and scraggly—proving that personal appearance isn’t a high priority, though they are never truly slovenly—the females pride themselves on a pristine, prim, and proper look. But what truly sets them apart from the other races of Taladas is their absolute obsession with hygiene. Bathing is a vital, daily ritual. So particular are they about cleanliness that visitors are subjected to a thorough, rigorous bath by gnomish servants before receiving an audience. The gnomes present this as a supreme honor, but outsiders usually view the whole thing as a terrifying ordeal, especially since the gnomes apply the soap and scrub brush with immense, manual-labor vigor.
Their fashion is simple yet vibrant. Men wear knee-length tunics patterned with vertical stripes or divided cleanly into two distinct colors, like blue and yellow. Brightly colored hose, soft shoes, and a leather belt finish the look, with hooded cloaks added for bad weather. Women wear floor-length gowns with wide sleeves and a short mantle. Young women bind their hair in long braids and wear golden or silver circlets, but upon marriage, a wife adopts far more somber colors to match her newly elevated, important station in their family-centric society.
While the Bilo gnomes have no standing army, their tiny nation of roughly 10,000 citizens is structured for total military mobilization. If called up, every single male and female is expected to serve in the militia. Politically, the Bilo gnomes are united into a single nation composed of ten different towns, each numbering about 1,000 inhabitants. Each town elects a mayor, and these ten mayors form the governing Council of Burghers. For life terms, the Burghers elect three crucial leaders: the Burgomeister, who presides over peacetime political affairs; the Warden of the Eastern Marches, who handles security, intelligence, and border raids; and the Grand Imperator. The Grand Imperator is a unique wartime position. During peace, the Imperator has zero power and is rarely even consulted. However, in the event of an invasion, he assumes absolute, dictatorial control over the entire militia and the war effort, while the Burghers step back to act merely as advisors.
The Bilo gnomes don’t just live among the basalt columns; they live within them. Each of the ten communities is organized around a central pillar—a massive basalt tower rising high above the terrain, completely honeycombed with tunnels, chambers, granaries, armories, and barracks. While the gnomes usually live in small homes built in the shadow of the pillar, the entire town is enclosed by a heavy defensive outer wall. If the outer wall fails against their ancient enemies—goblins, ogres, hobgoblins, or the fiery monsters of Hitehkel—the gnomes simply retreat into their impregnable basalt tower to outwait the besiegers.
Yet, several towns have fallen in the past. While most are eventually reclaimed after the invaders leave, two towers remain tragic exceptions. Provoerhoosktalchder, the “Warden’s Tower,” which served as the easternmost line of defense against the hobgoblins of old Aurim. Fifty-three years ago, hobgoblins aided by the fire minions of Hitehkel successfully stormed the tower. Today, the situation is a tense, generational standoff. Inside the tower are 1,500 hobgoblins. Ringing the outside are 1,000 gnome militia, with every Bilo town rotating 100 men to this permanent siege line every season. The gnomes cannot storm it because they built it and know its defenses are too formidable, while the hobgoblins lack the numbers to break out. The surrounding town is entirely destroyed, buried under piles of rubble caused by a constant, underground war of attrition. Hobgoblins tunnel out, and gnome sappers dig furious countermines, leading to brutal, subterranean skirmishes that always end in a bloody standoff.
Bilo society relies on a strict two-tier caste system. The largest and most influential class are the Gnomoi, the “True Gnomes of Reorx.” These gnomes possess genuine insight and engineering capabilities, serving as the supervisors, captains, engineers, and guildmasters. Working under them are the Minoi, or “Cursed Gnomes.” While highly skilled and sincere, the Minoi completely lack the creative spark or spatial insight required to design items that actually function without exploding. Under the paternalistic guidance of the Gnomoi, the Minoi serve brilliantly as laborers, blacksmiths, and farmers. The Gnomoi block them from powerful positions for the good of the community, but care for them deeply, and the Minoi are content with the arrangement—so long as they are allowed to occasionally indulge their whims for wild construction on their days off.
Because the Bilo gnomes lack the easy mineral wealth of their Hitehkel brothers, they have specialized in the fabrication of incredibly intricate micro-mechanisms. Most are kept hidden, but a few high-end items are exported exclusively for the wealthy elite of the League Cities. Their most desirable items are compact luxury timepieces set in elaborately decorated cases. These clocks are accurate to within fifteen minutes, but the gnomes fill them with absurd clockwork mechanisms—parading figures, ringing chimes, telescoping flags that wave, and clockwork voices. They also export heavily trapped security chests and mechanical spit-turners. Their low output and high prices make these items ultimate status symbols, a reality that deeply galls the rival gnomes of Hitehkel, who hate admitting that the Bilo gnomes do vastly superior work.
Outro
But that is all the time I have to talk about the Gnomoi of the Columns. Do you like the idea of a highly organized, militarily efficient gnome society? How would your party handle a stealthy countermining mission against the hobgoblins, or a scouting expedition into the dragon-infested Tower of Ghosts? Leave a comment below.
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I don’t understand! Are we supposed to stop Raistlin or cheer him on?
