Gully Dwarf Homestyle Porridge

Join me as I make Gully Dwarf Homestyle Porridge from Heroes’ Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook for the first time! Heroes’ Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook by Kyle Newman, Jon Peterson, and Michael Witwer and published by Ten Speed Press on October 27, 2020. You can buy a copy here: https://amzn.to/3GMAlXF

Gully Dwarf Homestyle Porridge

If you’ve ever attended a gully dwarf meal, you’ve probably only done so once. As scavengers who dwell in the deepest, darkest, and dirtiest parts of subterranean spaces, their dining habits are not exactly refined. But a wholesale dismissal or their cuisine would be throwing out the baby with the bathwater (which gully dwarves are known to drink on occasion). Traditional gully dwarf porridge calls for a grainy stew chock-full of… you don’t want to know. However, their more civilized dwarven cousins have developed their own morning feast dish, which cleverly pokes fun at the inedible original. Their version. also called “dirty porridge,” comprises of a creamy oatmeal-style base chock-full of dates, chopped nuts. dark sugars. and a dose of cream. Dwarves have even been known to brew a savory “gully dwarf porridge” containing leftover sausage bits, streaks of bacon fat, and finely chopped scallions in a grits-style “broth.” Regardless of which version you eat, this porridge from the world of Krynn is a true random encounter for your taste buds.

Serves 4

  • 1 ½ tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 cup steel-cut oats
  • 3 ¼ cup water
  • ½ cup low-fat or whole milk
  • ¼ teaspoon kosher salt
  • 3 tablespoons light brown sugar, plus 4 teaspoons for garnish
  • 2 tablespoons heavy cream or half-and-half for garnish

In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the oats and cook., stirring constantly, until they smell fragrant, nutty, and toasty and look a shade darker, about 4 minutes.

Add the water, adjust the heat to medium-high, and bring to a simmer, stirring constantly. Add the milk, adjust the heat to medium-low and simmer gently, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is thickened to the consistency of applesauce and the oats are tender but chewy, 10 to 15 minutes. Add the salt and 3 tablespoons brown sugar and stir to incorporate.

Remove the pan from the heat, cover, and let rest for about 5 minutes; the oatmeal will thicken to about the consistency of pudding. Serve at once, topping each serving evenly with about 1 ½ teaspoons cream and 1 teaspoon brown sugar.

Cook’s Note

Cooking oats in a mixture of water and milk provIdes a good balance of richness (using all milk can make the porridge overly rich , especially once the cream garnish is added).

Add the water to the toasted oats before the milk, otherwise it might foam up.

The oatmeal will continue to thicken as it cools, so make sure to sere it hot.

Transcript

Cold Open

This is not your mother’s instant oatmeal.

Intro

Today I am making Gully Dwarf Homestyle Porridge from Heroes’ Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook. If you have made this recipe, share your thoughts in the comments below!

Discussion

When I hear homestyle I expect biscuits and gravy, not porridge, but seeing as I have never made porridge, I figure if Gully Dwarves can do it, so can I. I began by collecting my ingredients. One and one-half tablespoons unsalted butter. I cheated with salted butter. One cup steel-cut oats. I messed up when I transcribed this recipe from the book and I ended up using one and one-fourth cups of water and two cups of whole milk! This did make it creamier but it took longer to soften. One fourth teaspoon kosher salt, I am not sure any rabbi blessed my salt. Seven total tablespoons of dark brown sugar, I realize now I should’ve only used teaspoons for the garnish so mine was sweeter, and finally two tablespoons of heavy cream to garnish with the extra brown sugar.

Now that I realize I completely cooked this wrong, I am second guessing my final review, as I didn’t make this recipe exactly. I began by putting my butter in a large pot on medium high. Once melted I added the oats and stirred for four minutes until toasted. Next I added my water and stirred till it began simmering. Then I added the milk and adjusted the heat down a bit. It took me twenty five full minutes to reach the applesauce consistency the recipe said should take fifteen minutes so I must not have had the heat high enough. Then I added the salt and three of the tablespoons of brown sugar, stirring them in, before covering and allowing the porridge to rest for five minutes. 

In preparation to eat, I poured it into my bowl and garnished it with some cream and brown sugar. This was a bit chewy with the oats, but after adding berries and pairing it with homemade toast, it was a filling and satisfying recipe.  

Outro

Thank you for tuning into this Dragonlance Recipe episode. This has been Adam with DragonLance Saga and until next time Slàinte mhath (slan-ge-var).

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