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About Conundrum
On a dark spring night, nine weeks behind schedule, the MNS Indestructible, a Class C Submersible Deepswimmer, departs Sancrist Isle with a crew of twenty and a callous disregard for the inevitable.
Armed with top-secret devices, a band of intrepid gnome explorers sets out on a legendary journey to sub-navigate the continent of Ansalon and determine why very large rocks float. Though the fate of the world does not hang in the balance, theirs certainly does.
This is their story–and the story of a single member of that ignoble crew: Conundrum, the heroic gnome featured in Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman’s best-selling War of Souls trilogy.
Review
Welcome to another DragonLance Saga review episode. It is Bracha, Frostkolt the 31st, my name is Adam and today I am going to give you my Spoiler review of Conundrum by Jeff Crook. I will be spoiling the story, so if you don’t want to know it, stop watching now! I would like to take a moment and thank the members of this YouTube channel, and invite you to consider becoming a member by visiting the link in the description below. You can even pick up Dragonlance gaming materials using my affiliate links. This is my perspective only, and if you have any thoughts or disagree with mine, I invite you to share them in YouTube chat.
This is clearly supposed to be a funny novel, and though there are some situations that have occurred at the outset that are humorous, I have yet to think it’s actually funny. This may be due to the fact that I never saw gnomes as funny, but rather single minded poor inventors, which is on the road to being funny but not quite there. We are introduced to a host of gnomes before Conundrum, the novel’s namesake even makes an appearance. The premise is as follows: Sir Wolhelm, a Knight of Neraka is ordering Commodore Brigg to sail his submersible, the MNS Indestructible around the continent of Ansalon to Flotsam where he will pick up a Knight of the Thorn named Sir Tanar Lobcrow. From there, they will enter a rumored entrance to a tunnel that goes underneath the Blood Sea to New Sea.
This trip was made in reverse by the MNS Polywok, but when they tried to go back the way they came, they disappeared. Among the crew are a series of ridiculous gnomes, a Kender, and Gully Dwarf. Ultimately, it seems the Knights of Neraka are acting on behalf of Pyrothraxus the Dragon Overlord who claimed Mount Nevermind for some unknown reason. This is added to as Sir Tanar Lobcrow was gifted a magical communication device from the Mistress of the Night, who has some demand of him, yet to be revealed. We find Conundrum as Commodore Brigg is assembling his team, and Conundrum is bored to death being in Mount Nevermind trying to invent an unsolvable puzzle, then attempting to solve it as his life quest. He approaches his cousin Navigator Snork, who brings him to Brigg and becomes the Chief Officer of Seating.
It takes them three attempts to launch the MNS Indestructible, and they announce their departure by shooting off a UAEN missile which decapitates the statue of Lord Gunthar in Pax. As they finally successfully get underway, Conundrum ends up helping with the MNS Pollywog’s tunnel map and is promoted to First Assistant Cartographer. They stop at the Northern Wastes as they are running out of fresh water, and plan to send a team to shore with a divers suit called a frog suit, and we meet the Gully Dwarf Ensign Gob who greases the wheels. They also present a harpoon like device called a UANP, like the torpedo UAEP, only smaller.
The Northern Wastes go about as well as can be expected, considering the expedition included two Gnomes, a Kender and a Gully Dwarf. They use the frog suits to walk up onto the shore, noticing sunken ships on the ocean floor. Once upon dry land, the Northern Wastes are described more beachlike than expected with treelines! The group comes across a Chaos Beast that attacks them. Gob the Gully Dwarf runs off and is still missing. Conundrum nearly gets eaten by the Chaos Beast, but the ship’s crew noticed the creature and aimed their UAEP at it, killing it with a well aimed shot. This forced Conundrum to run into the ocean only to be attacked by a giant octopus that was hiding in the wreckage of the ships. Conundrum hides under an upturned cauldron and notes that as he is breathing the escaped air is lifting the cauldron out of reach from the octopus, but also past the myriad of Sharks that have appeared.
The MNS Indestructible brings it up on board, thinking they could use the cauldron, and are shocked to see Conundrum, who is summarily promoted to Chief Officer in charge of Oilage. This was once the Gully Dwarf’s job. They set sail once again, planning on getting many more cauldrons for the use Conundrum showcased. They see in the distance a minotaur vessel approaching them flying a black flag. Seeing that they intend to ram and board the Indestructible, they dive underwater. Once down there they realize they are losing breathable air and cannot see anything, so they use the Doctor Both’s PeerUpItScope to guide themselves, and all I have to ask is what did the good doctor use it for before now? Anyway, they evade the Minotaurs and come to land to resupply.
This is where I become culturally triggered. They set up a whole series of events based around Haggis. If you have never had Haggis, it’s basically an oaty, spicy meatloaf wrapped in a sheep’s stomach. It’s not bad at all, and depending on the recipe, it can be quite delicious, but I know it’s a running joke. A joke to talk smack about Scottish cuisine. But that in itself is pure ignorance for those who perpetuate this myth. Haggis is not bad. And Scottish Cuisine is the envy of people around the world. Where do you think Angus beef comes from? The seafood readily available in Scotland is among the best in the world. So can we please retire this terrible trope already? Moving one, the whole Haggis joke is that it’s so bad they have to bury it in the woods so as not to insult the town, because they couldn’t swallow it.
By burying it, they draw the ire of Grim Alderwand, a sentient badger with a magic wand. He shares his plight that every time the hairy monkeys above bury their garbage or haggis down below, trolls come to dig it up and kill some of the ground dwelling creatures, so they string up two gnomes to be eaten instead. The Kender Razmous Pinchpocket and Conundrum the Gnome ultimately rescue them with a wonderful insult laden diatribe by the Kender directed to the troll, who ultimately fell into one of the traps laid by Grim.
Back with the Thorn Knight Sir Tanar Lobcrow, he is resting post coitus when the Mistress of the Knight calls him through the magical device. Tanar’s girl wakes and the mistress demands he take care of her, so he throws her out of his four story window. This is pretty brutal, but the two get right back to talking as if it meant nothing. The mistress explains her plan, that Tanar is to join the Gnomes in the MNS Indestructible and find the passage to the Abyss, so they can both enter and use the power that must lie therein.
I find myself laughing more as this book continues so either I am suffering Stockholm Syndrome or it’s actually getting entertaining. I am honestly not sure which at this point. The Gnomes now have glowworms from the forest to light their interior while underwater, and have decided to add a battering Ram when they dock in Flotsam. They also decide to add portholes so they may be able to map the sunken city of Istar. Meanwhile Sir Tanar talks to the captain about visiting the Abyss, and Commodore Brigg immediately shuts the conversation down, saying that though they may have had to take him aboard, they will not take orders from him. This leads Tanar to charm Conundrum.
They leave port and head to the center of the Blood Sea and another Minotaur vessel attempts to board them, so they use their newly installed battering ram and sink the minotaur ship, but become stuck at the same time as they have no reverse. They go down with the minotaur ship and figure a way to get out of the the ship as they move toward the center of the sunken Istar. This forces Tanar, who is suffering from claustrophobia, to bring Conundrum into his room as the Mistress of the Night contacts him. Tanar casts some form of sleep on Conundrum as Snork comes by his door and hears a female voice. He peeks in and overhears the Mistress telling Tanar to take control of the Indestructible. Snork cries mutiny, as Tanar uses magic to break Snorks neck, then wakes Conundrum telling him that Snork fell and broke his neck, and that he needs to relay that message to others.
Brigg comes by and sees the commotion, calls for the doctor who confirms the death. They move Tanar to Brigg’s room as he doesn’t trust the story, but Conundrum is convinced through magic, and is beside himself in sorrow at his cousin’s death. He now must take on Snorks life quest and becomes the navigator. They continue traveling the undersea caves and find themselves lost. They notice a mild red hue through the darkness and head to an underground cavern with air. They come up and go to investigate only to discover it’s a red dragon’s lair. The dragon comes and attacks, picking up the Indestructible, which fires its UAEP’s in the dragon’s mouth, shooting many gallons of salt water into it, and dragon freaks out, flings the Indestructible away, and it hits the water with dragon claw marks puncturing it, and begins to sink.
They close interior hatches and speed away from the dragon into another cavern only to lose control and beach the vessel. Now, with half their crew dead, and no way to repair the ship, they decide to explore the cavern, looking for ore. They found themselves in an ancient massive city-like stone space. Too large for dwarves to have crafted, when suddenly the massive doors burst open and an enormous crab emerges, reaching up on its hind legs, it flips on its back and lays dormant. Then its belly opened and a Gnome emerged screaming and complaining. This is Commodore Brigg’s brother, Captain hawser of the missing MNS Polywog!
They learn that Hawser is the only survivor of his ship, who also met the dragon. It turns out this is a giant’s city, who are at war with the dragon named Charynsanth. They blocked the tunnel that connected their two homes long ago, and Hawser has been hiding from the Giants who emerge with the mist daily. The Kender Razmous is curious about the dragon and goes to find it sleeping, then tumbles down the crevice from his peeping spot. The Thorn Knight Tanar freezes him with a spell and offers the Dragon this morsel, and an opportunity to get the Giants if he helps him. They make a deal and as far as the reader knows the dragon eats the Kender. This entire story is about the whittling down of the Gnome’s crew, each death from here on is more tragic as we’ve spent the novel learning each of their quirks. But that is the result of this novel, revealing how only Conundrum survives and ends up at the Citadel of Light. Tanar convinces Sir Grumdish the gnome who wants to be a Knight of Solamnia by killing a dragon to confront Charynsanth in his mechanical suit, and opens the blocked tunnel triggering a landslide which buries him. Tanar is standing there as the dragon emerges and turns against him, burning him alive.
At the Indestructible, they sent a gnome down a massive shaft which ended up being the way to get out, as a giant emerges with the mist and attacks the crab with Hawser in it. The dragon enters the fray so it’s the crab vs. the giant vs. the dragon. They all fight, ending up with the dragon nearly killed by a sword through the throat courtesy of Grumdish who escaped the rockslide, and the crab and giant attacking it. It burns the Indestructible, so Briggs and Conundrum submerge it in the well, as the water pours in dousing the flames. Briggs knows he can’t go back so he follows the tunnel down as Conundrum is unconscious.
They end up running out of air and run aground in Shallsea. The mystics pull Conundrum out and revive him, but everyone else is dead. He is stunned by the occurrences and wanders mindlessly until he finds himself in the hedge maze, and becomes lost. He accidentally finds his way out and realizes he has discovered his Life Quest, to map the magical hedge maze.
This book started off a bit slow, but as you grew to know the Gnomes, Kender and even the Gully Dwarf briefly, you grew to like them, and their misadventures were entertaining. Many of the Gnomes ended up completing their life quests before dying which is bitterly sad, and I did not see this end coming at all. In the end, I rather enjoyed the novel. I was afraid there would be too much gnome techno babble and acronyms, but there was just enough, and you really do like the Commodore and Conundrum. I would recommend this to any fans of Gnomes, or Conundrum from the War of Souls trilogy. But also if you want an unexpectedly enjoyable age of mortals adventure, this is a good one. I will say the plotline of the Knights of Takhisis was ultimately pointless, and could be cut entirely with little need to rewrite, but I did appreciate how they portrayed wild sorcery in the novel.
Outro
But that’s it for my review of Conundrum by Jeff Crook. What do you think about the novel? Do you have a favorite part? You can email me at info@dlsaga.com or comment below.
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